Dear sentence, I'm glad I can give you a break when you run on and on. Love, Comma

We did the coolest activity today. We learned about this teaching technique called "RAFT" where you personify something you're learning to show your own understandings of the material. The acronym stands for Role, Audience, Format, and Topic. We broke up into our subject groups and wrote our own. One of the history guys wrote a letter (format) to "sentence" (audience) from "comma" (role) about how they were "glad to be of service" (topic). It was pretty adorable.

There was another good one about a seed. It just sounds silly and it's funny to personify a seed. The voice of a seed is like, "It took like a million years to germinate even though Mom said it was only 3 days." Very silly and nerdy. I find these things funny. Anyone who knows my sense of humor could probably imagine how much I was cracking up in class today.

My favorite one, of course, was the math one my new friend Pierre wrote. It was a romantic card to multiplication sign from positive sign about why they go together. It was just so funny to hear him read it. He said he drew a picture and the front asked the question, "Why do you and me go together?" and on the inside were 2 hearts. It read, "Because if both of our values are greater than zero, me times you is greater than or equal to the sum of me and you." Hahahaha....so verrrry nerdy. Yes!

So that was my take-away from "Content Literacy." We also spend a lot of time in groups in that class talking about current issues in education that will be applicable in our experience. Today I learned about the idea of 3 spaces. In a classroom you, the teacher, are exercising authority to "make" the kids do something (1st space), and the kids have their own identity outside of that space (2nd space), but they will form an expression of identity in that space when they're being impressed upon (3rd space). It made me think more about the idea of meeting kids where they are and trying to find common ground. It will definitely take some experimentation to find that, I think, especially my first year.

Inclusion was also really interesting tonight. We got started on our group project. I am working with 3 other students to present information on students who have disabilities in the category of neurological disorders. I look forward to learning more about that.

Something about special ed really resonates with me. I just found out that the endorsement for Sped takes more time and coursework than I had previously thought...which is a bummer, but I will definitely still be thinking in those ways anyway. Ie: how can I make this material accessible for slower learners or English language learners, etc. There are lots of Sped techniques that might take a little more time or effort to employ in your teaching, but would basically benefit everyone in the class, like labeling your steps so they can easily be followed, or providing graphic organizers for material.

The thing in Inclusion that was most shocking today was our talk about drugs and weapons. It came up in the context of discussing how to discipline students in general, and also how to discipline students in Sped within the laws of Boston Public. It sounds like kids mostly throw a few punches in fights and puff their chests, but they really don't want to fight, generally speaking. It's really funny the way Dr. G talks about it. She said, "You wouldn't believe how many fights happen right in front of the school office. It's like, 'really?'" Haha. It goes to show that kids don't really want to fight, they just want to save face. A lot of what we talk about is how to diffuse situations and save face for the parents and for the kids. I appreciate that there are so many ways she showed us that we can step in and make things less awkward or tense. I'm trying to mentally prepare for the scenarios she mentions--ie speaking with parents who just got off of a 48-hr shift in the medical field. Dr. G often tells us not to assume. We basically have this role in the schools to solve problems, not to make them. It's not about ego. She even gave an example of a parent who said to a teacher, "You're white," in the middle of a conversation. That teacher literally threw up their hands and walked out of the room. They were so insulted because they thought the parent was calling them out on their racial difference and saying they couldn't understand their position as a person of color or something. It turned out the parent was saying, in their own way, "You're RIGHT," but had an accent of sorts. So Dr. G encouraged us to just ask questions and be aware of cultural sensitivities. She suggested to ask questions and explore issues instead of taking offense since there are all kinds of complicated racial, cultural, and language barriers out there we need to cross. In other words, I need to prepare myself because I'm typically not a very guarded person--which is good. I still get defensive and take things personally though, so I need to learn to take my ego out of it. However, I am going to be working with kids and families that are very guarded in a lot of ways, in addition to some of these communication and cultural differences. So I'm really glad Dr. G is telling us these stories to illustrate possible scenarios and how she has handled them successfully.

But I digress. The thing she said that was really shocking was that these kids don't really carry weapons or do drugs. She said people never believe her, but it's true, these kids don't do drugs. They can't afford it. Once in a while they dispense or sell pot, it has been found on individuals. But if they have it, they're not going to smoke it. They'd rather sell it and go get a burger. This was truly humbling. I come from a middle class background where kids have the burger and spare change for all kinds of drugs. These kids--they just want a burger. A good meal. Or sneakers apparently. Ha. Sneakers are a hot item. But also--a necessity if you don't have them--or perhaps a cultural thing of value. Dr. G keeps bringing up how these kids want sneakers for some reason. Ha--kind of random.

I just thought that was really humbling.

I'm starting to gain some confidence about being in the city and working with inner city kids. I know it'll be hard, but I'm starting to feel more eager and less nervous. I'm starting to feel like I can really do it and I must be able to if we all are, and we must be able to support each other. I'm starting to prepare myself for the ways the kids will try to take me down, try to play with me, try to break me or be rude to me. I just kind of know it's coming--from what I've heard and from what little experience I have. I know I'll probably come across as some middle class white girl--which I am--who knows nothing about their lives--which I don't. And I guess the only thing to do is acknowledge that and try to find that 3rd space where we have commonalities and where the kids can be open to learning information that they need to be successful in the world.

And difficult as it's going to be, I'm really really excited for those moments when I do connect with them, and where it's worth it. I'm excited to be taken down and to take a deep breath and keep going and take charge and get tough from it.

Oy. Listen to me. Rallying up! This week was a great start to the program. :)

Getting Habituated

It's hard to believe my first week of class is almost over. It has been a whirlwind and I'm surprised I'm still in one piece. Moving cross-country has all kinds of implications you wouldn't expect.

Every time I leave Portland, Oregon, I realize how much I identify with some key "Portland" values. Preserving the environment, respect, the willingness to evolve, and the focus on social justice are just a few such values. For better or worse, the injustice of the world will be thrown at me every day this Fall in the schools, and also on the streets when I see the complex homelessness problems Boston has. The history and diversity of Boston makes everything at least a couple layers deeper than what I've seen out West.

As much as the disparity between the wealthy and the poor upsets me and being constantly confronted with it confuses me on an existential level, I know that it will give me a sense of purpose this year. There are many problems my generation is faced with that are so big. Yet I am just one person and as cliche as it is, if I am dedicating a percentage of my time to solving problems that I care about, then I am doing my part and I can find meaning in enjoying my spare time in the city.

Getting to know my instructors and cohort is continuing to be an exciting and overwhelming process. I look around the classroom of 30 or so and I'm so excited to hear about each and everyone of these individuals and their stories. I can't believe how brave, or desperate (ha), all of us are to be in this program together.

Today in Inclusion we talked about more legal nitty gritty of special ed. Every time I hear Dr. G, I have more respect for her. I reserve a special sense of admiration for people who work with those with disabilities. I was touched by her stories today about easy and simple ways to include students with disabilities. She gave examples of how the JROTC could teach the special ed (or "Sped") kids to march, even if they couldn't do all the ropes courses or whatever that all the other kids could do. Then those kids could wear their JROTC uniforms on Tuesdays and they were so proud to wear them that there was better attendance those days. Dr. G talked about including kids on sports teams. On real sports teams, not just "special" teams. She spoke of a 6'5" autistic guy whose only job was to play a few minutes once in a while and run straight to the basket when "John" got the ball. So he'd keep anyone from catching it off the rebound. He felt so important, she said, and his whole family came out to see him at the games. It just really touched me that public school staff could be so aware and sensitive and considerate. There are simple things that don't take much that go a long way, just so those kids can feel "normal." Even if they don't understand "Beloved" the same way regular ed kids do, the fact that they have the same curriculum is so important. They can pull out their "Beloved" book at lunch and feel like the other kids. I just thought that was really...well, special, for lack of a better word.

Content Literacy was fun today. We moved around a little bit. We did an activity with our high school math sub-group where we talked about where reading and writing skills are applicable in math. It was hard to come up with examples the way history or science teachers might, but I'm glad we got to talk about it. Then we did this cool thing called "Journal Clubs." Each of us has to take turns presenting a relevant peer-reviewed article to a small group. Today's presenter, a Haitian-American, told us about an article on English Second Language Learners. We learned about how integrating these kids in with the fluent kids can be really helpful, especially if you pair a high content knowledge and low English ability student with a low content knowledge and fluent English ability student. Apparently this is an argument in Sped as well. It turns out that according to some research, "tracking" only makes it more difficult to teach struggling students. If you keep them together, it allows the kids who get the material more quickly to be teachers. And we all know that nothing drills something into your head like learning to teach it. I thought that was pretty interesting too.

I'm amazed at the members of my cohort so far. Two of the math teachers learned English as a second language. One worked in a rehab center where all the "trouble" kids went because they got kicked out of public school. These are really bright, motivated people and it's a diverse group, too. (A city with DIVERSITY, I just can't get over it!)

I think my biggest take-away today was, once again, realizing just how much I have to learn from my instructors. They are those people in a room you shut up and listen to because you know they are wise. And when someone's wise AND funny, it's definitely worth listening. :)

Dr. G gave us a lot of information about how to work with parents. Boy, is she a smart lady. She gave examples of how diffusing a situation can often lead to success. For example, if a parent is (G-d forbid) about to hit their child right in front of you, finding a way to ask the parent to talk to you for a second or finding some sort of excuse to just literally "diffuse" the situation by creating more space--for example, taking a step or two back if a parent is threatening you or getting in your face--is a simple way to improve the situation. There were so many pearls of wisdom like that today. I just hope I remember them later this year!

Today was a long day--I'm just trying to get in the habit of reflecting on my "teaching." Or for now--being in class! I'm still really excited about everything!

"It's good to be hard"

Why does one move from Portland, Oregon to a place like Boston, Massachusetts? Maybe you like the Red Sox. Maybe you're really crazy about deep snow drifts and humidity that turns your face into a pizza. Maybe you've always wanted to talk like Elmer Fudd. Suppose your dad lives there and you want a change. Perhaps there are the resources there to help you get your education practically for free.

In my case, it is definitely all the above. Ok maybe just the Elmer Fudd thing.

I've now completed 2 days of class in University of Massachusetts Boston's "Teach Next Year," program. I'm with a cohort of 30 or so students and teachers-to-be from all walks of life. For the summer, I'll be in class Monday-Thursday 5-9pm. Come September, I'll be working with a mentor teacher at Dorchester Academy. Somewhere along the way, I'm theoretically getting endorsed to teach high school math--maybe special ed, too.

After several weeks of communicating with the program, I finally made it out here Sunday. Monday, I visited the "old" Dorchester campus. It will be in a slightly new location next year. It was exciting to meet some staff and students. The bus ride to the campus was definitely an experience I'll never forget. Being a white middle class Jewish girl from the Pacific Northwest, I'd never gone as much as 10 minutes in public without seeing another white face. It was kind of exhilerating to experience that kind of difference. I am definitely educating myself as much as possible on the lay of the land and surrounding myself with people who know the lay of the land so as to stay safe and all that.

In spite of feeling a little odd, I really enjoyed seeing the campus. The staff seem like really great, helpful people and the kids seemed sweet. My mentor teacher asked the students she introduced me to to give me advice and they told me things like, "Be strict, be helpful, etc." I was struck by how sweet they seemed. I almost got a false sense of confidence until my mentor teacher showed me her students' final grades. The kids have been tracked, so while one class was 80% F's, the other had a bit more diversity. She said I'd probably be getting a "higher" tracked class as an intern, so that's somewhat uplifting. I could definitely feel my eyes get wide when I saw that paper, though. As much as I tell myself I am going to see things and hear things that are completely foreign to me, I'm pretty sure that nothing is going to prepare me for it except the actual experience itself. I feel about as excited as Kristin Wiig's character who loves surprise parties on SNL. I've got ants in my pants. And part of it's the feeling of needing to rally for something truly challenging.

My first summer term of classes are "Inclusion" and "Content Literacy." Both are taught by experienced special ed teachers. I learned more in the first night of class than I had learned in a month of teaching or any previous sit-down with an education professional. I feel really honored to have such awesome faculty.

"Inclusion" has covered a lot of legal information so far on what constitutes a disability and how students are accommodated. It's very overwhelming, yet it's taught in a clear and concise way that makes me feel like I'm absorbing a lot of information very quickly. I hope to compile a list of "tricks of the trade." Both these instructors seem to effortlessly do things that make paying attention easy, like using their body language and voices to make their message impossible to ignore. They're just big teachers. They take up big space in the classroom. Matt paces the class and moves positions and moves in and out of the rows. It feels a little more like a dialogue that way somehow. Dr. G gets us to shut up and listen by turning off the lights, speaking really softly, or beginning to leave the room. That last one was genius. It really made me think about the psychology of a high schooler. They know teaching can easily become a power struggle--even if they are not trying to annoy you they are probably going to keep talking the first time you raise your voice to get their attention. It's just psychology. They know they have the power. But if you start to do something that confuses them, like start to leave the room, or if you do something that makes them feel like they're missing something important, like repeat the same sentence over and over again very softly, then they have the motivation to stop talking and listen up.

The "Content Literacy" class is about, well, literacy, and how to make it happen for these kids. I find this class very interesting, but I think it will apply to math in a very unique way. Mostly I'm just jazzed by the compassion I see in my instructors and the opportunity to connect with my cohort. I've met all the other math teachers and a few of the teachers at Dorchester. It's so reassuring to know that there will be a cohort going through this and I will have support.

I'm super tired and it seems like my hyper-excitability is exceeded only by my overwhelmed-ness. (I am not an English teacher, I make up words all the time!) For the most part I'm excited about being in a new place, where I can bring new and different skills to a diverse whole instead of just being one of the same kind of thing, like in Portland or in college.

My Inclusion instructor suggested writing in a journal every night to get in the habit of reflecting on class. So here begins this new habit! Welcome to my journey.

For lack of a better word, I think the hardest thing about this year for me will be adjusting to the culture of the Northeast and "toughening up" a bit. Yet I moved here because I want this experience. I'm just beginning to lose some of my self-consciousness as a West-Coaster, but it's definitely different here. People are more guarded and the more ambiguous environment encourages people to be a little more in their own universe. My dad called it "harder." I saw the slogan "It's good to be hard," on the back of one of my classmates shirts tonight and decided I liked that. So simple--and for me--so true. I've got the sensitivity down. I can be patient and nice until the cows come home. What I really want to do is to learn how to be tough, and I'm sure this year will bring me all that and a lot more.

And I hope to be able to look at this later and remember how frickin rad this all is. Programs like this are doing a huge service by connecting America's most educated with America's least--people who--without the monetary or programatic incentive--might not otherwise go out of their way to work in such an environment. This is rad. And as I watch my instructors talk about their passion for their work, I'm excited to continue honing a skill I've always been told I have a knack for--observing people and responding to their needs. This combined with the chill and distance of a true Northeaster and I'll be set! So that being said, "It's hard to be good and it's good to be hard." Let the games begin.